It's over and done with!

Well, where to begin? I have been on the forum before during periods of distress searching for understanding and guidance. I have/was using Suboxone for a little over 1 year. From the beginning I was taking only 1/2 of my dose prescribed because I was sharing with my husband.

Last month I freaked out b/c I ran out early, called my doc and asked him to help, which he did, but then I got pissed! It was like a crazy switch happened in my mind and I went from being "poor me" to "dammit...I'm tired of this running my life!"

So, I was scheduled to return to my doc yesterday. I cancelled the appointment. I had begun weening myself down ever since my freak-out the month prior. I was using 2mg each day and then the last 3 days I was using .6mg. TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY ABSOLUTELY CLEAN! I am surprised how well I am feeling and hope it continues in this manner.

I know how hopeless people feel and I have had to invite God into my life to begin to forgive myself for the things I did while I was an addict. But the fact that I am here, in this position today, means ANYONE can do it!!

It's going to take 3-4 days before you start to feel any type of withdrawal...until then, you're still going with Suboxone in your system. The half life is pretty strong.
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I had an opinion once, but it kept my lips from making that kissing noise.

"You're an asset if you make me look good, otherwise, a nuisance." <-- Politicians and people in power.

Congrats i only hope one day this shit will no longer control my life! Ya know being clean is great but at times i realize my life is still being controlled by a drug which upsets me. One day i want to go on a vacation without worrying about medications. I wish u da best of luck.
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Yes these drugs saved our life's. But does that mean we have to give the rest of our life to these drugs?

Congrats... Dont be discouraged if you need to redose, you did a very fast taper from 2mgs to .6, I hope your body had enough time to stabilize. I understand the feeling of being controlled, but if you do need to redose dont feel bad. Do what your body tells you, I jumped from .25mgs and was fine. Good luck, stay positive and keep us updated. Im on like day 21 off subs, read up on paws so you can beprepared.

Jonathanm1978 pretty much said everything you need to know in his two posts.

Re-read them. Maybe you won't end up on suboxone 2 or 3 times before you realize the only stigma is the one you place on it. (It's the same with many other people and meds; antidepressants, bipolar, and antipsychotics come to mind)

The rules of this forum state:

--This forum is for people who have made their choice whether it be for Suboxone, for Methadone, or for meetings and no medication. While I recognize that some readers are not yet at the end of that choosing process, I ask that they read the information and make their decision without encouraging debate on the forum.

--PLEASE Do not get into debating which is better-- such debates never change minds, and often introduce false information that clouds intelligent decision-making.

--Show the respect for the decisions of others and avoid personal attacks.

While this certainly is a pro-Suboxone forum, an individual going for abstinence should be given the same respect and support that we give those members who come here to first get on Suboxone or maintain on Suboxone (or Methadone, for that matter.) After all, that's what the rules ask us to do.

I'm sorry I missed this thread SoDak, I hope you come back and update us.
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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!

Sodak, keep us updated, we are here to help you with anything you need.

Let me start by thanking everyone for their responses. I certainly was not trying to offend anyone or imply using subs meant you were not "clean". I definitely counted the days I used subs as days I wasn't using. I wouldn't have made it to where I am now without them! I think part of the pressure I felt to eventually stop was b/c my doc put alot of pressure on me...if I was having a tough time with a dosage reduction he would kind of give me a guilt trip about how long I had been using them and having to stop.

So, to be honest the first 3 days were fine. I knew I would have lasting effects from the suboxone. Then on day 4 an old hook up showed up that we hadn't seen in a long time....I'm sure you know where this is going.

It was 2 days of binging, which in comparison to past times isn't long, BUT OH MY did I pay for it. I felt so incredibly sick for 2 days following. It only reminded me of how much I hate that feeling....feeling so sick you can't work, you can't play with your child, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!! And I cannot continue putting myself in those positions.

So, here I am AGAIN, trying again. Today is day 3....it's been a hellish 3 days....but the words of encouragement from everyone are awesome!! I commend everyone who if fighting this fight...to be happy & healthy!

SoDak,

If you don't mind me asking- why aren't you going back on subs? I know you're Dr was pressuring you, and your goal is to be completely drug free, but sometimes you have to look at the results of NOT treating your disease.. The result is bingeing at the first opportunity.. I'm not judging you. or even questioning your decision.. I'm just wondering why it's so important to be off subs?

Like you, I made the decision to come off subs, but I would have no problem going back on them- for life even- if being off them meant cravings, and relapses.. Like I said, NOT judging or anything- I see it a lot and I'm always curious why someone that is doing well on them decides to go off subs, and then if they struggle a little they don't wanna go back on.. Just trying to pick your brain a little..