So Far So good

Its been 70hrs since my last dose and i feel good, havent noticed much wd symptoms at all.

I was addicted to heroin for over 2 years(never used the needle though), been on suboxone for year and a half. I was familiar with suboxone before i got prescribed, so i never took more then 2mg daily, even tho the doc wanted me to take 16mgs!!

Got down to 1mg/daily and about 7-8 months ago tried to jump, got to day 3 and was in such wd i wanted the world to end, i caved in and took suboxone. From that day i have been lowering my dose, was on .25mg at most for 6 months, it could of been more like .2mg. The week before i stopped i cut my dose in half, so i was at .1-.125mg for a week before i jumped off.

Like i stated earlier, im just a couple hours away from 3 full days(72hrs) since my last dose and feel great, i definetly could of went to work those days. My first day felt worse then today, i think that was all in my head. But i really havent experience any wd symptoms. No runny nose, watery eyes, yawning, my bones dont feel like they are growing, nothing! I dont want to get to optimistic yet, but i know for sure i felt like crap at this point last time i tried this. I felt more wd the last week when i cut my dose in half then i do now.

I took off 5 days from work, two more left, just hoping the wd doesnt come in full force all the sudden cause i know this shit has some serious half life.

95hrs since last dose.

I woke up last night with some RLS, was kicking my feet for a little bit but it wasnt bad at all, ended up falling back asleep. I have actually slept well since i stopped thankfully.

I think i might be in the clear when it comes to the physical wd, but damn the cravings, the CRAVINGS!! they are intense. This little thought keeps popping up in my head that i could get extra high off a fraction of the amount i used to use Twisted Evil

maybe you can replace the cravings with something else? Like exercise maybe? I never knew I'd like exercising until I stopped taking suboxone, now I'm kind of addicted to it. Or if you're a social person you could try volunteering. Obviously I dont know youre situation that well, just suggesting.

everytime you think of that high, also think of your bottom. you are very strong to do this, keep going!

Thanks for the advise, today is my first day back at work so im hoping that will keep my mind busy, you can go crazy sitting around the house for 5 days. Although exercise is definitely a good idea, i used to be addicted to working out i think, but then opiates came along.

When i weened down to .2-.25mg and stayed there for about 6 months, i definitely noticed a change in my personality and emotions for the better. I felt like a zombie or something when i was on 2mg, i was just there, no emotion.

A Couple hours away from 168 hrs or 7 days. It feels good to start counting days and not hours. Everyday seems slightly better although not getting much sleep now. 4-5 hrs the past few nights. It feels so good to be able to leave the house and not have to worry about my subs, i was dosing twice daily and could never leave the house without them, i hated it. And then the feeling you get when you misplace them, oh man that would almost make me instantly sick.

Day 18. Sleep paterns arent totally back yet. Yesterday i had some serious cravings, it felt like i was fighting a battle in my head, constantly going back and forth with the idea of using and not using. I didnt act on it, but today i feel much worse then the last few days. Could sitting around trying to fight off cravings all day set you back at all when it comes to the recovery process?

Hey there Done,

Wow, you are doing so great! 18 days without any subs! I am looking forward to the day when I can say that. It sounds like most of the physical symptoms you were having are pretty much gone but you are still dealing with the cravings huh? I found that that was my worst problem when I started the subs, just coming off my DOC. I am not real good at dealing with those pesky cravings either. I have a close family member who is also an addict, and anytime I share with them that I am struggling with cravings they tell me to pray about it and then try to keep busy to take my mind off of it. Uhhhh, Okay....That's alot easier said than done isn't it! I think every person is different...even addicts, not every addicts road to recovery is the same. I think some of us are better prepared to handle the cravings than others are. Are you going to any kind of groups or any counseling? You might find that it is helpful. You can only white knuckle it so long before you will be tempted to cave in. I would really recommend that you find some kind of tools to help you deal with the cravings before they become so bad that you give in. I went to my very first AA meeting two nights ago, and I have been using an addiction counselor for about 5 weeks now. I think that if you go into these things with an open mind you can find things to help you. Also, I have found that venting here helps me alot! Sometimes just talking to someone else that you know has been in your shoes is so helpful. I hate it when I am trying to tell my husband what I am feeling and he tries to act like he knows what I'm going through...even worse, a lot of times he will try to minimize the issue. Like it's not that big of a deal. I don't think anyone here will ever do that.

If you need an extra ear feel free to PM me. I try to check in here a couple times a day at least.

Good luck! Just try to hang in there and don't think about how your going to feel tomorrow. Only think about right now. Can you make it through the next hour without using? I bet you can... Very Happy

If you're still having trouble with cravings and triggers and you didn't find help with any kind of therapy, I'd like to recommend some addiction workbooks that you can get at any of the bigger bookstores. (You can also get them on Amazon, but you can't thumb through them to be sure it's the one you want.)

They are workbooks, meaning they are tailored to you and you actually answer questions how it relates to your own unique circumstances. I had two of them and they helped me greatly, I then passed them on to another addict in remission. I am still in remission with no relapses.

Getting a handle on your own personalized triggers and cravings is imperative if you want to remain relapse-free.

I wish you the very best on your road forward. Smile

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

I think most addicts find boredom to be a trigger for cravings. Posting and discussing this with others here could fill in some of that time. Write us a book if you need to. Sometimes writing out your feelings and knowing they are heard by others who understand can be therapeutic in itself.

well its been a little bit but just wanted to give an update.

I was having a horrible time with the cravings, an old friend got a hold of me, and well we all know how it goes from there. I used two days in a row. I read everywhere that one slip up will set back the whole process, and it did, i guess i just needed to experience that first hand to really grasp it. After 5 days i was feeling better.

The crazy thing about it, I really didnt even enjoy the high that much. The first day it made me sick to my stomach, and bad headaches, and i couldnt even sleep, i was sleeping in 45min-1hr intervals. Second day did a little less but it really wasnt enjoyable. Almost feel like my body was rejecting it or something. But the good thing about it is, now i associate all that crap with using, when before i would associate blissful nodding with using. So its sooooooooo much easier not to want to use.

Its been about 2 and half weeks since i slipped up, and im feeling better then ever. The thought of using is hardly there, and like i said, ill start thinking about how shitty it made me feel and the craving is gone. I wish i could sleep a little more since i still feel tired when i wake up, but im getting like 7 hours a night, maybe a little less. Im just not use to going to sleep at 12 and waking up at 7am, guess i gotta get use to that.

You Def need to get yourself into some sort of Therapy. If you can physically make it for so long without any Opiates and then slip-up because of a thought process not a physical withdrawal need. Not judging you at all but you have not shown any interest in getting involved with therapy. Is there a reason for that ? You obviously slip up twice now and both times there was no therapy involved. Until you can teach yourself thru some sort of therapy the triggers and then the tools you need to fight these cravings out of your head then you might slip up again. Honestly think to yourself of the reason Why You won't reach out and get some help.

Please keep at it! Keep reminding yourself of the negatives and be active in your recovery. You got this Wink

PMA! (Positive mental attitude!)
_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Have you looked into Vivitrol?

Might be useful. If you know that any heroin you do use will be blocked, this may help.

Then of course you could just go back on Suboxone.

Or go to rehab.

Or move to a desert island.

Yea i got this. I wouldnt even call it cravings anymore, its more just a thought. I just moved into a new place, i got to much to lose to go down that path again.