The following words could not be any more from the heart.......Thank You, Thank You ALL SO much!! I wish y'all could peek into my thoughts and see just how important ALL of your words, advice and support means to me. I started having some cravings yesterday afternoon, I got back on here and read all the replies again. Y'alls replies are like a massive dose of "Anti-Craving." A massive dose of reality too.
I'm stunned by the advice and support....stunned!! I thought I had pretty much figured out what was going on and what I had to do to move forward after talking to my counselor yesterday......then I got on here and started reading the replies.....you guys have helped to fill in a lot of the gaps for me. That's the beauty of this website, we all get an equal voice, we all get to dole out advice as we see fit and through reading all the various thoughts and opinions, I find myslef in a much better place today. I feel strong today, I didn't feel very strong yesterday.
Just to be clear, I value my 'clean' time so much. It's precious to me. Taking the pills caused me such incredible emotional turmoil. I quickly got to the point where I didn't want to stop and that scared the HELL out of me. With the help of some good friends, my better angels were able to shout down the demons that were screaming at me and I made the decision to stop the insanity of chasing pills fairly quickly. Every recovering addict needs a support system.....it's a must!!
I would like to update this thread on a fairly regular basis because I know I'm still in the tall grass, fumbling my way through. I know I'm going to need help moving forward, I am bound and determined to get back on the golden path though.
Again, I can't even come close to thanking all of you enough. Y'all have made such a huge difference in my recovery. I wish I could think of a word that would sum up how my heart feels, but there aren't any words that would do it justice.
BTW, I think some of you may remember that I got a bunch of Naltrexone a few weeks ago, I took some but didn't like the side effects and stopped. Well, piss on the side effects.....if me and my wife see me going 'off the rails' again I'm going to start the Naltrexone.
Ladderflipper, (((((BIG HUGS))))) right back at ya sister. Ah hell, (((((BIG HUGS))))) for EVERYBODY!! Come on y'all, group hug!!.....Hey!! Who's hand is that on my ass......damn it Mike, stop being such a goofball and get your hand off my ass!!