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 Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:07 pm |
amber4.14.11
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| the "fuck you" letter(s) |
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My "group" therapist, had all of us write "fuck you" letters
to our drug(s) of choice, at the first group meeting. Then we read them out loud at the second meeting. I thought it was stupid at first, Im not sure why. It wasnt until I actually read mine, out loud, that it became powerful. then we all burned them together.
At the end of the meeting, we were told NOW to write at least one more, on the subject of whoever or whatever our we think rooted our addiction.
Im writing mine, this time with more openess than the first.
I just wana say that, although this may sound dumb as hell. If any of you feel like you have unfinished business with a family member or someone or even SOMETHING from your past,
write them (it) a fuck you letter,
and see if you just dont feel 100% BETTER.
dont forget to burn it, at the end, or some people have buried their's. Thats the symbolic part, of "letting go"
becuase for any of us to get better, the letting go is definitely important.
I never thought, such a small act would be so huge for me. In my letter Im telling a certain someone in my life everything that I remember, that was wrong. The things they will NOT admit to, the things my family has consequently 'buried' so it doesnt exsist anymore.
Oh yea, and telling your drug of choice to fuck off is pretty cool too.
Just a thought 
_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:07 pm |
Google
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:23 pm |
Bboy42287
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This sound very therapeutic and can be very helpfull. i think back on that one Dr who admittedly told me he saw my addiction to the pills he was giving me becoming a serious problem but continued to write script after script for more and higer doses for years. Well go figure he lost his license a years ago and did a two year bid in Albien.
But i think this a great idea thanku so much for sharing. I would love to read your letters if thats not to personal if so i understand.
_________________
Yes these drugs saved our life's. But does that mean we have to give the rest of our life to these drugs?
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 5:01 pm |
Fireman
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amber, I did the same group activity in my IOP group and I thought it was very helpful too. Honestly, you get just as much out of the activity as much thought and emotions you put into it. At first very similar to you, I didn't think it'd help but in retrospect it was helpful. I completely forgot about the activity until I just read your post. I think it could help people who still haven't been able to 'let go' in their lives. I also think the letters work just as well, but I've never heard of writing one to a drug. It does sound interesting though and something I'd like try. Good post!
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| Mon Apr 16, 2012 12:32 am |
amber4.14.11
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I dont mind sharing mine at all. the first one was definitely short, but sweet, (or not) but very "to the point"
my grandma kept a copy, she said to "remind me just in case"
But I havent finished the two for the next session, when I do, I'll post'm.
And yea, I just had to share this topic, becuase it really was powerful for me. My biological father is in a mental institution, so even if he WANTED to listen to what I had to say, it wouldnt do any good at all.
I also think it helps people who have had a person die that they had "unfinished business" with.
I think us addicts, hold on to allota shit, just cuz its easier to have that 'bone' to hold on to, and in my case, blame for my issues.
Needless to say, this process has helped a ton, and I cant believe how simplistic of an idea it is.
Keep fighting the good fight everybody
_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/
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| Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:55 pm |
hatmaker510
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I call them "vent" letters. I've used that as a coping skills a few times in my life. During one of the rough times of my overall relationship with my mother and while she was in town visiting, I ended up with a headache the whole time she was there. Even after she left it still didn't subside. My therapist suggested I write one of those letters to her. I had trouble getting started, but once I got going, I remember going on for pages and pages. I also remember getting so angry the pressure of the pen practically tearing through the paper. It was only after I finished writing that fuck-you letter to her that the damn headache finally went away!!
Fuck-you or 'vent' letters or whatever you want to call them are VERY powerful. We MUST express those emotions and this is a really good way of doing just that. I think it works no matter who we're writing to - whether it's to ourselves (our addiction) or to someone in our life.
_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.
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| Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:51 pm |
amber4.14.11
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| fuck you, oxy/heroin/dillaud/morphine (you get the idea) |
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When I first met you, I thought you were everything I ever wanted.
You made me confident, energetic, and absolutely happy. The way
I thought "normal" people felt.
As time went on,
I got less confident, had no energy and was anything but happy. I hardly
ever saw anyone but you, and I didn't do anything with my time that
wasn't centered around you.
You stole everything I ever had. No, it didn't happen overnight. It was
actually much more painful to watch everything disappear in this horrible
slow-motion roller coaster ride that I couldn't control.
You made breathing, impossible without you.
So I'm saying Fuck you, forever.
I've taken my life back, WITHOUT you.
I wont ever beg for you again. Because I know, it may feel good for
a bit, but I'm just too tired to fight to keep you alive, even for a day.
I fought for years and years to keep you. I hid in a corner from everything,
and everyone, with you. When I was sick, I thought you were all I needed.
For awhile that was the case. But all you did, was make me sick once again.
My bones would ache for you, my skin burned for you and my mind came
up with whatever I needed to do to get ahold of you once again, no matter
the cost.
I even quit you a time or two before, but you always were able to suck me
back in again. You hide in the corner silently, waiting for me to be weak,
lonely, afraid or anxious, and you attack. You are always there, waiting
for the moment you think I'll give in.
But every day, I leave you a little further behind.
I'm stronger than Ive ever been.
You had beat me down into nothing. I didn't think Id ever have a chance,
but I started a war with you anyway.
It started as just a mere battle, but wining that one tiny battle, put enough
wind behind my back, to push on. If even for only an hour at a time.
So Fuck you,
I've come so far without you, and its going to stay that way.
Fuck you and everything you stole from me.
Its taken me a whole year,
but I've got my dignity back,
and even a little confidence.
I'm telling everyone about you, too.
That's what you loved the most, was to be my secret. So you could manipulate
me, and terrorize me while nobody watched. That way, I had no one but you,
for comfort anymore.
Well, fuck you, cuz your not my dirty secret anymore.
I can finally look at myself in the mirror again, and not feel ashamed. When I look
into my son's eyes, I dont feel like a piece of shit anymore.
I stand taller, and walk with my head held high.
These are all things that were impossible while I held you on my shoulders.
Everyday, I get stronger. I know your still there, hiding, waiting & watching.
That only teaches me to never let my guard down.
Fuck you, cuz I'm gonna win this time.
_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/
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| Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:32 pm |
hellmuth1
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Sick letter! 100% correct!
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| Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:32 pm |
Google
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| Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:33 pm |
MrMatt
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Holy sh!t amber!
That was amazing!
Just goes to show, addiction is a relationship with your drug.
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