So Ive been thinking for awhile I wanted to post my story on here, but wasn't sure if I was brave enough. I will try to share the "short version" as my husband would say. Thats what he asks for whenever I start telling him a story about anything.
Born in Southern CA. Chula Vista to be exact. Anyone whos been in that area knows of all the military bases there. My grandpa was a senior chief in the Navy. and my mom has never been far from her mom and dad.
My mom was always told she wouldnt be able to get pregnant. So she was about 6 mos along before she realized she was pregnant with me. Her and my father, had broken up a few months before, and of course they tried to "give it another shot" when she found out she was having his baby, but he was a junkie, so we all know the shot didn't last long when things didn't change. Im glad she didn't raise me with him, but it's taken a lifetime to understand why.
He came from a very catholic family. His mom called my mom, and asked her to have an abortion, becuase a baby outta wedlock is a horrible sin.........
My mom being a single parent, I spent every weekend at my grandma and grandpa's house. I have always been VERY close to my mom's parents.
When I was 7, my mom started dating a man that was in the Navy like my gpa. sometimes I wonder if she did this on purpose, looking for the "approval" from her mom and dad since my fathers relationship didnt work out. within a few months, my mom was pregnant, he had MOVED in, and life was completely different.
My little brother was born, my grandparents had moved to Oregon to retire, and I had a dad all of a sudden. No wonder I had behavioral issues.
We moved to oregon shortly after my grandparents did. What a culture shock I remember it being.
I stayed with my grandparents even more in my preteen yrs, as me and my dad DID NOT get along at all. He was very strict, my mom just cried all the time. They fought constantly. My brother got away with murder...........
I remember at 15 having to clean his room before I could go to a football game with my friend.
I used to have to "lay in bed and pretend to sleep" when I was 15 becuase my bro with throw a tantrum, and my mom told me to, so she wouldnt have to deal with the tantrum, or my dads yelling about the tantrum..........
By the time I was 16 my dad and I weren't speaking, he yelled alot, we physically fought alot, my mom just cried still.
So I moved out.
I moved into a 20' camper, about A half mile down the road from my grandparents house. I was completely happy. I got a german shepard who grew to 125 pds!! But he was my best friend.
When I graduated Highschool, yes managed to do this while working and living on my own, I went to meet my biological father for the first time.
It was definitely something I'll never forget, but it wasnt as romantic as I had invisioned.
I was experimenting with drugs before I started my senior yr of hs. by the time I graduated I was on meth, but when my grandparents found out I don't rember it being that hard to stop. I had this award winning (joke) boyfriend that I did meth with, he robbed a tavern, and ended up going to the pen. my grandparents really dealt with the situation pretty well.
I talked to him all the time while he was in jail. but all they were worried about was me stopping the meth.
So grandpa talked me into attending a local trade school. I signed up, and went. and although I didn't take it seriously for like the first 8 mos, I did eventually graduate.
this entire time, I didn't really talk to my mom or stepdad. the ocasional family get together, I saw them, but my stepdad just ignored me and mom just cried....are you detecting a pattern???
Anyway, I met my husband , at this trade school. we got married a few yrs later.
when I got done with school, I started as a union carpenter, and was making really good money, I was 19.
I hurt my back on the job, at about 21.........
I started getting pain pills, starting with vicodin, and suprisengly it really didnt become a problem for like 5 yrs. My grandpa died, and I think that may be what started the down ward spiral, plus it wasnt going anywhere good to begin with.
WE ALL know the addiction cycle,
Ill just give you the highlights.........
I had 3 doctors,
the last yr of active addiction, I pawned everything I owned.
stole my gmas credit card and ran up 5grand of cash advances.
took a loan out on a car me and my husband owned. it got repocessed.
wrote checks of people that trusted me.
STOLE from grocery stores, chain stores, to trade.
Sold perscriptions for other ppl,,,,that's how I supported my habit, by selling hundreds of pills a week.
I got pregnant with my son in 2008 and I had been on methadone for a few months. I was honest with my obgyn, and she gave me percocets while I was pregnant. I had a csection to have him, and two weeks later I was abusing methadone, and snorting oxys. I liked to do them at the same time, that was what i perferred..
My husband has been along for the ride. He DID get tired of me not working and never being home, being a pile of shit in general about the same time my family found out about the credit card.
I tried to quit on my own a few times, had a couple siezures.
a friend of mine got clean with suboxone, I had rememberd her telling me about it. Before then she was injecting morphine three times a day. anyway she had over a yr on subs, and was doing great......
I found her and she helped me get in the program.........april 14th, 2011
My new life began.
Im here for my son every day!!!!
Ive been working since june 20th. I even gota promotion a week ago!!!! I wouldve never thought THAT would happen agian. I really like my job. Im doing finish work now, its so much easier than what I was doing before....
THere's quite alot I left out for the SHORT version, and feel like I want to add on to. but im outta time for now, I'll try and get back on here later today...
I was in a really bad auto accident a month after having my son,,,,,rolled my suv twice.
OH ya and ive been "detained" for questioning like 3 times. i live in a very rural county!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED