I am going to go ahead and give you the benefit of the doubt, and presume that something about your attitude is getting lost in translation. I like to believe that most people actually do have good intentions, and that perhaps the flavor, sarcasm, or sentiment can be misinterpreted when conveyed in print. That said, I will thoughtfully address your post as best I can.
No, my post is not judgmental and I went out of my way to make that clear to you.
I am sorry you could not understand that.
Yes, I realize that you prefaced your remarks with something to the effect of "Not to pick on you, but...". Unfortunately, couching insults within claims that they aren't meant to be offensive doesn't make them any less insulting. You basically accused me of "living a lie".
Who's being judgmental?
, but I don't think it's judgmental of me to say that I am embarrassed for any random person in my grocery store or work place to know -by looking at what I'm carrying- how long it's been since I last used drugs, or that I ever had a problem in the first place. If people are proud to put their previous addiction and subsequent recovery on public display, more power to them. For me, it is something of which I'm ashamed.
I choose to not partake in social activities in NA either because it is not fair to those who are working their program without medication assistance to see me doing just fine as I hide the fact that I am using medication assistance.
I guess this where you and I really disagree. Now mind you, since I've been clean, my conscience is easier to hear, and I try to be aware of the impact my actions have on other people. By nature, we addicts hurt the people who love us the most, and that's something I'm sick of doing.
That said, perhaps the social activities of other NA fellowships are set up differently than mine. Where I go, the softball games are for playing softball, and the karaoke songs aren't songs about addiction. It's just a group of friends, who met through NA, having good, clean fun together. For us, the meetings
are where people share about their struggles. I guess what I don't understand is why you think it is unfair for someone working an NA program to see someone else doing just fine at a SOCIAL GATHERING. I am not a youth pastorâ€” my reason for going to a sober sporting event isn't to offer myself as a sacrifice for others to struggle alongsideâ€¦then again, thatâ€™s not what I see the others who are there doing either. Itâ€™s not as if I giggle and hop-scotch in circles around someone crying about their addiction, shrug my shoulders, and say, â€œI dunno, it all seems pretty easy to me!â€
while I cackle on the inside, knowing the REAL reasonâ€¦ Frankly, drugs and our personal strategies for combatting them just arenâ€™t subject matter at these events. If they were, I wouldnâ€™t go. My Suboxone use isn't my deepest, darkest secret, though. There has been no round table discussion in which we were each asked whether we used Suboxone, and I was untruthful.
Former addicts need light-hearted socialization too, and I donâ€™t think their path to sobriety should dictate who their supportive, sober friends can be. There are many ways to recovery. Must followers of NA only associate with other struggling followers of NA at all times? Isnâ€™t it beneficial enough that they can be in an environment where their companions aren't pressuring them to use drugs or alcohol? By the same token, does an atheist in NA need to the "out" themselves for not having a higher power?
Everyone with an addiction problem who is working the steps will have ways in which they customize their own program. To me, this is no different. If it weren't for the things I learned in NA, I probably wouldn't be clean today. When I was first on Subs, I was still going to meetings. I rationalized this because anyone Iâ€™d met who opposed Suboxone therapy simply hadn't used it, and thus were unaware of how "anti-high" one feels while taking it. Of course
a room full of users is going to assume that replacement therapy is replacing a high! How would they know differently? Those in the program who have been on methadone maintenance have
experienced replacement therapy that can create a â€œhighâ€, so they are especially leery of members in any kind of replacement program. Luckily, an NA meeting run by its own protocol prohibits talking about drugs by name or dose anyhowâ€”the meat and potatoes of the message is about mending attitudes and behaviors that drew addicts to drugs in the first place. I think the rest of the advice, from no Suboxone to no dating, should just be taken with a grain of salt.
Shelwoy, I think that fundamentally, the reason you take issue with my NA-event attendance has more to do with your personal belief, as stated in a previous post, that NA is â€œnot for the methadone or Suboxone crowdâ€, and that we are â€œin desperate need of our own support group.â€ While I do wish that NA were more accepting of medication assisted programs, it doesnâ€™t make or break my recovery. I have no problem tailoring a program to my liking or best use, because no group (our exchange being case-in-point) will have all the answers.
I see that you are a moderator. Iâ€™ll leave you with 3 suggestions. First, try to lead by example, by following the instructions I see above me in the pink box: â€œPlease Show Respect for the Decisions of Others.â€ This would include not chastising them upon their first visit for â€œliving a lieâ€. Second, change the name on this topic from â€œNA and Suboxoneâ€ to â€œWhy you canâ€™t go to NA on Suboxone.â€ Itâ€™s misleading for newcomers who might think that they are allowed to post a positive NA experience. Lastly, as a known and experienced persona on this forum, try to make people who are new to the forum feel welcome. New posters and recent addicts feel vulnerable enough, and should be welcomed, not criticized for seeking support here.