Suboxone Forum

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Mon May 13, 2013 2:35 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Mon May 13, 2013 2:35 pm

Lol Amy f&@$ double standards lol. I carry a wash cloth with me too when it gets hot. It's a pain in the ass but its not going to kill me. Luckily I have a gf who understands it god it would b so embarrassing to be on a first date with sweat dripping down my face yukky! I feel you mg I always crave chocolate more than anything and I love every second of it lol.

Re: My SWITCH

mg113 — Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:26 am

Author: mg113

Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:26 am

I hear you on the sugar cravings..... I ate so much candy and sugar when I was on methadone, as a matter of fact I always had a Hershey bar next to my bed, and that was always the last thing I ate every night.....

Re: My SWITCH

Amy-Work In Progress — Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:42 pm

Author: Amy-Work In Progress

Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:42 pm

That would totally annoy me, but sweating is definitely more of a nuisance thing than a deal breaking side effect. I have a friend on methadone and he basically has to carry a towel with him wherever he goes. At least in the summer.

As bad as the sweating would be for a man, I think it would be even worse for a woman. I mean, guys are kind of supposed to perspire, whereas women can only get away with it when exercising. Stupid double standard, I know, but there it is.

I'm glad that you're still doing well Bboy!

Amy

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:18 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:18 pm

Hey guys just wanted to drop a quick update!

I realized I haven't talked about this at all but I just wanted to share the side effects that I have expirenced during my time on methadone being a couple years now. I will say this methadone is like a sugar pill side effect wise compared to suboxone. Suboxone side effects were unbearable to me many times I rather gone back to opiates than stay on it because of how subs made me feel. I don't need to get into the bc you all know them already. But the main side effects from methadone I deal with on a daily basis are mainly, perspiration, as usual constipation, insomnia and the last one is sugar cravings mainly for chocolates. All of these side effects can be easily treated but the sweating is fucking annoying as he'll, for example I'm on a date with my gf and I could be dripping wet from humid weather or when I'm in the gym I sweat so much that by the time morning comes I feel a light dope sick feeling bc I sweat out all my meds the night before. Again it's nothing to complain about.

I just wanted to share that with you guys bc I know I praise methadone non stop but it has a couple negatives!

Thanks for listening

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:52 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:52 pm

I just read my last post and I just wanted to apologize I wish I was finishing up for my masters. I meant to say my bachelors degree!

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:48 am

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:48 am

Methadone saved my life! Why is that a bad thing to so many people. I'm sick of people who are so uneducated telling me how I'm not clean during groups outside my clinic. And I don't owe anyone an explanation!

Sorry needed to rant f&$@ NA

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:54 am

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:54 am

Thanks Amy

Well the update on my schooling as many of you know I'm going to school to be a drug counselor. So I'm happy to say at the end of this semester I will have my associates degree which would allow me to try and get my ksact T and start looking for a job as a real counselor. Which is awesome but I realized after talking with my own counselor that with just my associates degree I would have to do 6000 ksact training hours. So after talking with my advisor I would only have to do 3 semesters at a four year school to get my masters which would mean i only have to do 4000 ksact training hours. So now with a set plan I actually feel like I am close to actually doing something with my life. And all those years wasted getting high could actually benefit me in the long run. My counselor said to me that with no matter how much schooling a new counselor has I'm already ahead of the pack based on the fact I have something that can't be taught even at Harvard real life experience with the drugs I'm suppose to help people get off.

The one thing I am worried about is I am still on methadone and I really don't know if that will affect me getting a job in this field. My counselor said the one thing I have on my side is I am a documented pain management patient.

Well I'll keep you all updated

Re: My SWITCH

Amy-Work In Progress — Thu Feb 28, 2013 1:02 am

Author: Amy-Work In Progress

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 1:02 am

That's awesome Bboy! It always feels good when your hard work is recognized. I'm also glad that you are more clear about your education. I'm looking forward to reading about that!

Amy

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:14 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:14 pm

Hey guys a update

I got my first week day take home today holding it in my hands now and it feels so good knowing I accomplished this status at the clinic. It's just nice knowing the Dr approved it my counselor made sure the Dr was aware of how good I'm doing and so fourth. Also I finally have a set plan in place for what I'm doing with my education but ill type that up tomm or the next day. I just wanted to share the good news.

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:05 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:05 pm

So i got to write a short essay to give to my councilor so he can give it to the Dr about week day take homes and why i should take the next step in the program. Talk about what im doing for my recovery and how getting these week day take homes is going to help my recovery and so fourth. What would you guys say if you had to write out why you deserve weekday THs.

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:23 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:23 pm

Hey matt i replied in your new thread so i wont write a long post. But again glad to see your induction went well. And i know the relief your talking about its like a trillion pound weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you can start being honest.

PS
Thats to funny us addicts in recovery think so alike in my reply in your thread i said enjoy your first good nights rest after trying to sleep with the withdrawal symptoms.

School starts back up today my friends boy im hppy winter brake is over but im a lil nervous lol! Anyway all is well with everything and im counting down the days i can start getting weekday take homes.

Matt2 wrote:

Thanks so much for the kind words Bboy. It's currently 3am and my appointment is in less than 2 hours. I'm feeling better physically than I thought I would. I'm very ready to hopefully sleep better tonight or the next few days than I have been the last several days. Definately my least favorite part of opiod withdrawal is the sleep problems it causes. I think to some extent though I feel better knowing that hopefully some relief is within the relatively near future hopefully. I'll always remember how much better I felt after starting Suboxone after getting to sleep for a solid 8 hours which was the first time it happened since I stopped using. I was also relieved to see that the clinic I'm going to here in Indy is fairly close to the side of town I live on and it's not in a bad area. I HATE how many negative stereotypes I have about methadone clinics. I'm really hoping that will change.

I did get a chance to sit down and talk to my wife last night too which helped me to feel alot better. I haven't told her that I'm switching to methadone yet but she does know that I'm going to be going to the clinic now everyday instead of my Suboxone doctor once every two months. She was really supportive. She's never complained about us having to pay for my Suboxone in the past even though we're both super broke with crap tons of student loans. It's always made me feel like I'm being selfish especially after seeing how many things she goes without now that she used to enjoy. I think that's the hardest thing for someone who's not a recovering addict to understand how much shame I think the majority of us deal with even after we stop using. I'm so lucky she's put up with me for as long as she has. We dated off and on after we graduated highschool and she was even with me through many of the worst parts of my "using" career until she just couldn't take it any longer. I'll never forget how aweful I felt one time when I was trying to convince her to let me put a couple hundred dollars of oxycontin on her credit card because if I only had part of the script filled for how much money I had on me I'd lose the rest of it. She rightfully didn't let me thank god. I'm going to keep talking to her about how I'm doing though now. I have to admit it feels good being honest with her. There were several times when I would run out of Suboxone at the end of every month and I'd take money we really didn't have to buy a few more off the street to hold me over. I'm hoping that if nothing else me switching will help to alleviate at least some of our financial trouble or at least her having to deal with me using money we don't have.

I'm going to try and hop in the shower before my appointment. I'll be sure and let everyone know how I'm doing when I get home later this morning.

Re: My SWITCH

Matt2 — Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:41 am

Author: Matt2

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:41 am

Thanks so much for the kind words Bboy. It's currently 3am and my appointment is in less than 2 hours. I'm feeling better physically than I thought I would. I'm very ready to hopefully sleep better tonight or the next few days than I have been the last several days. Definately my least favorite part of opiod withdrawal is the sleep problems it causes. I think to some extent though I feel better knowing that hopefully some relief is within the relatively near future hopefully. I'll always remember how much better I felt after starting Suboxone after getting to sleep for a solid 8 hours which was the first time it happened since I stopped using. I was also relieved to see that the clinic I'm going to here in Indy is fairly close to the side of town I live on and it's not in a bad area. I HATE how many negative stereotypes I have about methadone clinics. I'm really hoping that will change.

I did get a chance to sit down and talk to my wife last night too which helped me to feel alot better. I haven't told her that I'm switching to methadone yet but she does know that I'm going to be going to the clinic now everyday instead of my Suboxone doctor once every two months. She was really supportive. She's never complained about us having to pay for my Suboxone in the past even though we're both super broke with crap tons of student loans. It's always made me feel like I'm being selfish especially after seeing how many things she goes without now that she used to enjoy. I think that's the hardest thing for someone who's not a recovering addict to understand how much shame I think the majority of us deal with even after we stop using. I'm so lucky she's put up with me for as long as she has. We dated off and on after we graduated highschool and she was even with me through many of the worst parts of my "using" career until she just couldn't take it any longer. I'll never forget how aweful I felt one time when I was trying to convince her to let me put a couple hundred dollars of oxycontin on her credit card because if I only had part of the script filled for how much money I had on me I'd lose the rest of it. She rightfully didn't let me thank god. I'm going to keep talking to her about how I'm doing though now. I have to admit it feels good being honest with her. There were several times when I would run out of Suboxone at the end of every month and I'd take money we really didn't have to buy a few more off the street to hold me over. I'm hoping that if nothing else me switching will help to alleviate at least some of our financial trouble or at least her having to deal with me using money we don't have.

I'm going to try and hop in the shower before my appointment. I'll be sure and let everyone know how I'm doing when I get home later this morning.

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Mon Jan 21, 2013 9:33 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 9:33 pm

Hey Matt please feel free to pm me any questions or if you want my email addy to contact me quicker don’t hesitate to ask. I want to let you know that I can relate 100% to what you are going through when I was first looking into methadone treatment and what not. The biggest thing I can relate to is having to pretend every day that everything is going great but on the inside I’m in my own living hell. And that really takes a toll on you over time lying to your loved ones. But if they truly love you than your wife and family will take the time to try and truly understand why you made this switch and understand you did it to better yourself. And they will see the results just in your everyday behavior over time because methadone will allow you to get back to the things you love. As of the transition it is not to difficult the first few days are def not great but they are a hell of a lot better than the last 48 hours before your first dose. And it will take about 2 weeks for you to really start leveling out and once you get to that point you can start focusing on finding your right dose. Don’t let the number get to you either some people are ok at 30mgs others need 200mgs. But be honest with the DR you have to find the right dose for you.

And also I could relate having someone else in charge of your meds. That was why I choose the clinic route over the pain management route and it has been a blessing for me. I go get my dose for the day and that’s that I don’t have more meds to abuse which is what I needed more than anything. And over time you will work your way up to take homes and once you get to that point you will be ready. Because you will work on this with your councelor or group to get ready to have those meds in your possession, and def continue going to groups and what not because things are most likely going to get better for you but don’t let that be a reason why you don’t think you don’t need the extra help anymore. Because the meds are just one small part of a recovery as you know.

And be alert now that for the first few weeks and increases you are going to get high but that doesn’t last very long. Once your body adapts to the meds it will be like any other med you take just becomes part of your every day life. Best of luck to you Matt

Matt2 wrote:

Hey Bboy I was really interested to read your posts. I really appreciate you taking the time to record your experience. I've been struggling alot lately. I haven't used but I've been close several times and I'm likely going to switch over to methadone tommorow. My appointment is scheduled for 5am and they said it would likely be a 3-4hour long process. I'm really scared not so much of making the transition but more than anything else because I don't know how to talk to my wife about what's going on. She's a "normy" and she has alot of negative stereotypes associated with methadone, as I think most people do. She's always been very supportive about me taking Suboxone but to her methadone is a totally different animal.

Some quick backround on me: I've been on 8mg of Suboxone daily for the last 6 years. I started on it 4 months after getting out of an inpatient treatment facility. I tried Vivitrol injections (naltrexone) for those 4 months and I didn't use. I thought about using pretty much all day every day. I went to usually 2-3 NA meetings a day and it was rough. I had alot of issues with PAWS. More than anything else I was really depressed and couldn't force myself to be around people for anything. Anyway I finally broke down and told my Dr. and we decided I'd start Suboxone. Things went well for the first few years overall but I still struggled with depression and social anxiety but I was able to function. Gradually over time I started taking more Suboxone than prescribed and so I started running out of my prescription a few days early. The really messed up part is that taking more didn't change how I felt physically. It really was a psychological thing. I realized pretty early on that I would be better off having someone dispense 1 days worth each day but I couldn't imagine having to go to a pharmacy or clinic everyday. I really started to think about switching to methadone just to have someone else control the medication but I kept putting it off because I wanted a relatively normal life. I was really enjoying being able to have some personal freedom again after dealing with years of addiction. I also had a couple times where I had some major acute pain issues while taking Suboxone and my Dr. didn't feel comfortable prescribing the amounts or type of medications to help so I was really close to "using" again and buying some oxy on my own. I remember the worst time was when I had to have oral surgery to have a tooth pulled and all I could do was take tylenol and ibuprofen. I spent that night rocking myself in the fetal position and trying to keep myself from moaning/screaming loud enough to wake my neighbors up. I'm not a stranger to pain either. During part of my "using" career I had to have a spinal fusion done to remedy a degenerative lumbar disc. I was taking about 200mg of oxy a day when I had the surgery done and I wasn't about to tell the surgeon I was abusing opiates and that I had a very high tolerance level. I remember waking up after surgery not only in immense pain but also dealing with detox symptoms. I literally couldn't even stop screaming long enough to ask for help. The surgeon eventually told my parents he couldn't legally give me anymore morphine (which I really don't believe but I realize the I was responsible for causing the problem. I'm tired of living in fear that something will happen and I'll be left to writhe in pain in the ER. I realize that most Dr.s aren't comfortable prescribing pain meds to opiate addicts especially those on Suboxone but I can't believe someone could be that cold and unresponsive to someone in that much pain.

Anywho here I am 6 years later and I've been out of my Suboxone for over 4 days and the withdrawals are getting fairly rough. I've been taking some loperamide (generic immodium) because I don't trust myself with anything more abusable and it does help some but I feel very beaten. I feel like I've let everyone down around me that thought I was doing well not using and staying clean. My parents and wife have been so proud of me that I really don't know how to tell them. I'm sure I will eventually I'm just so tired of secrets and pretending to not be sick at the end of every month. I'm at a loss so that's why I'm going to the appointment at the clinic tommorow morning.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a novel I just needed to vent a bit and know that someone else knows what I'm going through. It's always been amazing how much better talking to another recovering addict can help even online. I'll be sure and keep everyone updated. I really hope you all are doing better than I am now:)

Re: My SWITCH

Matt2 — Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:34 pm

Author: Matt2

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:34 pm

Hey Bboy I was really interested to read your posts. I really appreciate you taking the time to record your experience. I've been struggling alot lately. I haven't used but I've been close several times and I'm likely going to switch over to methadone tommorow. My appointment is scheduled for 5am and they said it would likely be a 3-4hour long process. I'm really scared not so much of making the transition but more than anything else because I don't know how to talk to my wife about what's going on. She's a "normy" and she has alot of negative stereotypes associated with methadone, as I think most people do. She's always been very supportive about me taking Suboxone but to her methadone is a totally different animal.

Some quick backround on me: I've been on 8mg of Suboxone daily for the last 6 years. I started on it 4 months after getting out of an inpatient treatment facility. I tried Vivitrol injections (naltrexone) for those 4 months and I didn't use. I thought about using pretty much all day every day. I went to usually 2-3 NA meetings a day and it was rough. I had alot of issues with PAWS. More than anything else I was really depressed and couldn't force myself to be around people for anything. Anyway I finally broke down and told my Dr. and we decided I'd start Suboxone. Things went well for the first few years overall but I still struggled with depression and social anxiety but I was able to function. Gradually over time I started taking more Suboxone than prescribed and so I started running out of my prescription a few days early. The really messed up part is that taking more didn't change how I felt physically. It really was a psychological thing. I realized pretty early on that I would be better off having someone dispense 1 days worth each day but I couldn't imagine having to go to a pharmacy or clinic everyday. I really started to think about switching to methadone just to have someone else control the medication but I kept putting it off because I wanted a relatively normal life. I was really enjoying being able to have some personal freedom again after dealing with years of addiction. I also had a couple times where I had some major acute pain issues while taking Suboxone and my Dr. didn't feel comfortable prescribing the amounts or type of medications to help so I was really close to "using" again and buying some oxy on my own. I remember the worst time was when I had to have oral surgery to have a tooth pulled and all I could do was take tylenol and ibuprofen. I spent that night rocking myself in the fetal position and trying to keep myself from moaning/screaming loud enough to wake my neighbors up. I'm not a stranger to pain either. During part of my "using" career I had to have a spinal fusion done to remedy a degenerative lumbar disc. I was taking about 200mg of oxy a day when I had the surgery done and I wasn't about to tell the surgeon I was abusing opiates and that I had a very high tolerance level. I remember waking up after surgery not only in immense pain but also dealing with detox symptoms. I literally couldn't even stop screaming long enough to ask for help. The surgeon eventually told my parents he couldn't legally give me anymore morphine (which I really don't believe but I realize the I was responsible for causing the problem. I'm tired of living in fear that something will happen and I'll be left to writhe in pain in the ER. I realize that most Dr.s aren't comfortable prescribing pain meds to opiate addicts especially those on Suboxone but I can't believe someone could be that cold and unresponsive to someone in that much pain.

Anywho here I am 6 years later and I've been out of my Suboxone for over 4 days and the withdrawals are getting fairly rough. I've been taking some loperamide (generic immodium) because I don't trust myself with anything more abusable and it does help some but I feel very beaten. I feel like I've let everyone down around me that thought I was doing well not using and staying clean. My parents and wife have been so proud of me that I really don't know how to tell them. I'm sure I will eventually I'm just so tired of secrets and pretending to not be sick at the end of every month. I'm at a loss so that's why I'm going to the appointment at the clinic tommorow morning.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a novel I just needed to vent a bit and know that someone else knows what I'm going through. It's always been amazing how much better talking to another recovering addict can help even online. I'll be sure and keep everyone updated. I really hope you all are doing better than I am now:)

Re: My SWITCH

Bboy42287 — Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:59 pm

Author: Bboy42287

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:59 pm

Thanks you too and im a bit korny myself lol.

Yes it has taking alot of hard work but all your guys support has been a big help. And i cant thank you all enough. Hey amber i have cravings two and i wont lie sometimes i want to take a lil extra of one of my take homes but than i realize two hours of being high is not worth losing two years of being clean. And sure im only taking extra methadone if i broke into the craving but it mine as well be my DOC because in my eyes that is a relapse. And i thank god everyday that i have never had a relapse thank god.My point is your not alone we all have cravings from time to time.

Thanks
B