Are you an Introvert?
Posted: 03/26 12:54 PM
These posts are from another thread that I thought deserved it's own title. I put them together here so maybe we can have a conversation about the topic at hand.
I was reading cnn.com and ran across an article titled "Introverts Run the World." I've known for a long time that I'm an introvert, but I didn't have a full appreciation of just what an introvert really is. After reading that article at cnn.com and then spending the rest of the afternoon learning (obsessing!) about introvert behavior, it dawned on me that being an introvert probably had a great deal to do with my wd being pretty harsh. Apparently, introverts spend a great deal of time in thought (I honestly thought everyone did that?), they spend a lot of time in reflection (I thought everyone did that too?). When someone is in wd and they're spending most of that time reflecting on how their feeling....well, it's like a feedback loop. I also learned that there is really no such thing as a person who is 100% introverted or 100% extraverted. These traits are measured on a kind of sliding scale, with almost 70% of the population falling somewhere in the middle (ambiversion). From what I've learned and understand about introversion/extraversion, I am firmly in the introvert camp.
On a side note, my recovery has moved ahead by leaps and bounds with this newfound knowledge of my introversion. For the longest time I've been trying to address behaviors that NA teaches are addict behaviors and all the while those behaviors are due to me being an introvert. For example, what I once considered to be self obsession I now understand is a component of introversion. I'm not necessarily self obsessed, I just enjoy spending time alone with my thoughts just as I enjoy spending time with my family or close friends. Now that I'm no longer beating my head against a wall trying to change those behaviors, things have obviously gotten a lot better.
Romeo - I read a book called "The Introvert Advantage" a while ago, and I felt so relieved when I read about how most of my tendencies and how I deal with things is related to my introversion. I had never looked at it that way, I just thought I had something wrong with me. The book helped me a lot in learning how my termerament is the reason for many things I do, and it gave me a totally different perspective on myself. I had so many lightbulb moments when reading this book and I stopped punishing myself for things that I thought were negative behaviors, but are really just the "innie" way of dealing with things.
Well hello fellow introvert, nice to meet ya!!
Reading your post made me smile....I was honestly afraid that all I would hear was crickets chirping after posting about my introversion, it's nice to know there are others out there.
I'll be honest, as I started reading more and more about introversion, one of the first thoughts to pop into my head was "Oh Crap".....not only am I an addict, which tends to separate one from society because we're not understood, now I find out I'm a full blown introvert too....like I need another "condition" that's not very well understood by most, thus separating me from society even more. But I caught myself quickly and said a great big "EFF THAT!!!", I gotta keep learning to roll with the punches and learn to accept myself, damn it!
I love how you said "I stopped punishing myself for things that I thought were negative behaviors, but are really just the "innie" way of dealing with things." I'm headed over to Amazon.com to get a copy of that book!
Thanks Taurus.....I was gonna say you don't know how much I appreciate it.....but you probably do!!
Reading the book is so worth it! It helped me a lot. Let me know when you start reading it. I just pulled out my copy a few weeks ago and started reading it again because it has been years since I read it the first time. I just wish extroverts in my life would read it! Introverts are so misunderstood by extroverts...they tend to think something is wrong if we don't react to things in the same manner as them. But we just have different needs.
.....pm me when you read the book because I'm sure you will want to talk about some of the things in it! It's very interesting and easy to read.
By the way, the full title is "The Introvert Advantage - How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.