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Posted: 07/19 09:37 PM
It's good to hear from you Auto. I'm glad you didn't get into any kind of trouble at work and are moving foward.
One thing from your last post stood out for me....My doc has me on 8mg of sub daily. At first I was taking 4mg in the am and 4mg in the evening. I knew my doc didn't want me to do this, he wanted me to dose once in the morning. I played around with it for a while, trying 12mg one day and 4 mg the next day. Finally I thought "why am I doing this?" I decided to take the 8mg in the am like it said on the bottle. And Auto, I feel so much better. The cravings are rarely there and I feel like I am truly working recovery when I am following the rules. I am wondering why your doc wants you on "the lowest possible dose." It sounds like a good plan to stay on your meds. I hope you can figure out the money situation. Thank god I only pay 20 bucks a month for my sub since my husband has such good insurance.
And sorry for kinda jumping in on Auto's thread...his story just hit me. So thanks for all who replied. I am working with a sponsor and understand not to make amends if it could harm myself or others...but like Auto, I am still dealing with some guilt over stealing (and yes it is stealing) from my employer. I am working on this, but now I am only on step one..so I just try to get through today....and do the best I can without worring about the past or future.
And setmefree, thank you so much for replying. I had read some of your earlier posts and realized you worked as an RN too....I think it would be awesome if I could PM you sometime as I have never spoken with another nurse about my situation. I guess I will have to try to figure out the PM thing on here first!
So thank you all, and take care Auto!!!! Keep us posted on how you are doing. Kire
Posted: 07/20 09:00 AM
Auto, I am rooting for you, praying for you, as for all of us opiate addicts who are fighting the good fight to slowly but surely get better from this awful disease! And I do hope the 'side notes' to Kire are not offensive to you.
Kire, Yes I'd love to hear from you and help you any way I can, as I think I do understand your situation 'up close and personal' and how hard it is to live with what we have done. Again, I'm so thrilled that you got help before your world 'blew up' like mine did. Send me a PM anytime. Underneath anyone's post you will see a little icon "Send PM"....just click that and it will take you to an email-type screen and you just have to enter a subject and then your message and send. Trust me, if I can figure it out....anyone can!!
Best to all for a good day today!
Posted: 07/20 09:46 AM
Well, I do not mind at all having people pick up on a thread I started and tell of their own experiences. That works fine for me, Kire, I'm glad you posted here, thank you again. I AM feeling better and moving forward..I have begun looking for a job and am not finding that easy.... but looking for a job is hard for ANYONE< of course, and I have to try and hope for the best....As for my sub dose...well, I called in my "zero refill" and am hoping my doc approves it, and soon, as I'm almost out....well, that is what my doc told me to do--just call it in when I run out, even if no refills left and she will approve it...and..well, I did run through my script faster than I should have if my dose is supposed to be 4 mgs...but...it's been over a month since I refilled....I dont' know why my doctor doesn't want to discuss dose other than "as low as possible." I think she doesn't know about the ceiling effect..we have never discussed that. Also, when I talked to my doc about wanting to stay on sub instead of getting off it, she pressed me about if I get high from taking more of it and asked me why I felt I needed to take 4 mgs instead of 2 mgs.....(initially I was prescribed 4 mgs, but when I told my doc, this was at the very beginning, remember, that I felt an effect from it, she told me to go down to 2 mgs, which I did, but still at the beginning, felt high from 2 mgs...later, that effect stopped, no matter what dose I take now, i don't get any effect of a high). Anyway, since my doc doesnt seem to want to talk about my dose, I am thinking I should just try to stay at 4 mgs, which I think will work....I don't go into WD after all...it's just the cravings...and I don't think it is realistic to expect sub to take away cravings entirely...although, back when it got me feeling high, it DID take away all cravings....
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say thanks again to everybody, and also say I will never mind at all about people posting about their situations on any thread that I've started.... From suboxforum.com