New here and totally unimpressed with myself.....
New here and totally unimpressed with myself.....
Posted: 06/29 01:03 PM
[size=12] [/s[b] Hello all, my name is Crystal and I have just joined this forum. Reading all of your stories and listening to the information about suboxone has helped me in my choice to use the suboxone as well as my Intensive Outpatient Program I am in. A little about my situation: I have been clean and free from the Opiates for 2 months, unfortunatly this is not my only addiction. I am also addicted to Marijuana and alcohol, The alcohol I have also been clean from for over 2 months and the marijuana...Well there in lyes my problem. Sighs** I have tested clean for my first two urinalysis screenings and on Father's Day I relapsed and took 3-4 hits of Marijuana. The following Friday I was given another urinalysis and I am pretty positive that I tested positive for marijuana. I don't know what to do...I am having problems with CPS and custody issues, I start drug court tomorrow and I have 2 more long weeks before my Suboxone Doctor Appt. Also I have legal issues, which is why I am starting drug court but I still have two seperate court matters next week to attend. My concern is that after IOP what is next? Are they going to make me go to inpatient? Or can they possibly just do supervised urinlysis and maybe a relapse prevention group on top of my 3 2hr meetings a week? I just am HOPING that someone, anyone has been in this situation. I have NOT been honest with my counselor about my relapse, I believe he hasn't gotten my urinalysis report back yet. Because, if he had I would think he would say something. On the other hand, I have heard that many chronic users after stopping for a period of time have a tendency of burning the THC metabolites quicker than just a recreational user so maybe they DID come back negative. Ugh, either way I am disgusted and disapointed in myself. I can't stop crying because i fear they will send me to inpatient, at the beginning of my counseling, which was only June 1st, it was so hard to cope with my cravings that I WANTED to go to inpatient. Unfortunatly since I had been clean for over a month that wasn't there recommendation, IOP was. But now that my classes have started and I am so close to drug court (Tomorrow June 30th) and my sub appt (July 12) I don't WANT to do inpatient and i'm so worried that will be the next step.
Idk if any one here can help me with this....But i'm just so worried and was HOPING that maybe someone could shed some light on my situation.
No more worries.....
Posted: 06/29 03:52 PM
Well no need to bother in replying to this post, I guess it was a last minute attempt to find someone to agree with me. When in fact, all I needed to be was honest with my counselor.IT worked! I couldn't deal with the guilt eating at me anymore. So I called him an hour ago and was pleasantly suprised to find out that he was happy with me for being honest and is NOT going to recommend inpatient. Instead he is going to get me into a "Living Sober" group on top of my 3 IOP groups a week. Which I think will help me in the long run....
Posted: 06/29 04:57 PM
I still feel the need to respond to your post since you are also introducing yourself and I would like to say "hello" back to YOU.
I do believe you made the right choice. I was going to recommend you do just that. I used to work in probation and helped manage the drug court program. As a general rule, so long as the "addict" (I don't like labels much) was being honest with him or herself and honest with the probation officer, actively attending meetings and doing the other things required as per drug court, they generally were NOT sent to jail and they generally were NOT penalized in any fashion. It was only when they were lying that they got in trouble. Even when they did it repeatedly they didn't get in trouble.
I hope once you get the sub, you find that you have less desire for pot and alcohol. For me, it completely decreased my desire for alcohol. I was never a big fan of weed anyways. I am surprised that drug court is ok with the suboxone these days. It has been a very long time since I was involved in any of this but it is just good to hear that this is ok with them.
I do hope you will continue to hang around and post. You are just at the beginning of your recovery and this place has been a great support for me. I hope you will stick around to find the same.
Posted: 06/30 04:58 AM
Hello perfectly imperfect! I wanted to say hello and welcome you to what I consider a great forum. I hope you find as much support here as I have.
I'm so glad things went well for you with the counselor. You must be so relieved! I think you're off to a really good start. Like Jackcrack said, once you start the suboxone, hopefully you'll be feeling much better. I, too, have less of a desire for alcohol since I've been on sub. Before I started my treatment 18 months ago, I was smoking pot 24 hours a day...literally. When I gave up opiates and started sub, I also gave up the pot. Somehow giving all of it up at once made it easier.
Again, welcome and I hope you stick around and decide to use this forum as part of your overall recovery plan. Keep posting!
Posted: 06/30 11:40 AM
hi Crystal, I wanted to respond before but I wasn't sure what to say. I'm glad your situation got better and that you were honest. I just wanted to say that the topic of honesty seems to be coming up a lot for me, and on this forum. I guess it's a really important issue. I've always had a reputation for being very honest......but...with my addiction...I've lied a lot. Even when I wanted to tell the truth, sometimes i just kept on lying. So....you should be proud of yourself for being honest. I wish you luck with everything, and i hope you'll stick around and keep us posted! This forum has really been great support for me so far and i've learned a lot about how suboxone works too. I hope it will be as helpful for you as I've found it. Welcome.
Posted: 06/30 06:09 PM
Hi Chrystal and welcome. I was a huge pothead in my younger days, and I had an extremely difficult time putting it down. I know some folks barely categorize it as a drug, but for those who are chronic users it is very psychologically addictive. I don't know if you're in this category or not. As far as CPS and the courts are concerned, it's no different than any other drug. So even if you're a casual user it's really not worth getting into more trouble over it (especially when it comes to your kids). The next time you're tempted to imbibe, just remember how desperate you felt when you wrote that first post. It's SO not worth it. For me, I had to stop associating with a lot of people that I really liked, because every time I saw them someone passed me a joint.
Lilly... From suboxforum.com